Friday 17 April. It hasn’t been easy to write these posts; to find something to be (genuinely) grateful for. Every. Single. Day. Even the low ones, the ones where I’d rather just curl up and ignore the rest of the world. I’m sure you get it. I heard somewhere that the stress response that we all have as a result of this pandemic will have periods of being more tired than usual, as well as lack of motivation. That makes so much sense!! When I started these thankfulness posts 23 days ago, I had no idea the journey they would take me on.
The skies have been grey, heavy with clouds and frequent rainfall this week, but I’ve seen glimpses of blue and streaks of sunshine, even if only short lived. Can I be thankful for the rain, since it means no laundry today?! I’ll just pretend that my washing pile isn’t building up, and try and time it right next time we have a clear day. Or can I be thankful for the lack of visitors here, so that the sliding state of our house doesn’t matter?! Even though I miss having people dropping by?
A friend reminded me the other day (and it came up in my Day 7 : time to be real post) that grief is the difference between your expectations, and the reality you encounter. No matter how big or small that difference might be, grief is a very real factor that we each need to allow ourselves time to process. All over the world, people have been affected by this pandemic in so many ways, and my heart goes out to those who find themselves living a reality right now that is so vastly different to anything they could have expected or imagined. You and I have each been affected in some way. It’s ok to grieve that difference, be it big or small. Grief is not the end of the story, but it is a very real chapter.
Yesterday, the ‘what next’ (post-level-4-lockdown) for New Zealand was announced. In many ways there won’t be very much that changes, yet. There’s stability in that; a consistency to our nation’s approach. And yet those small changes still have a considerable impact. On special events, on the economy, on weekly activities, on life in general and on what we can and cannot do as we fight this war against the virus. I’m thankful that New Zealand’s approach to the crisis is working. At the same time, I’m grieving some of the things in my life, and that of my loved ones, that have been so drastically affected.
It’s a double-edged sword. It’s grey clouds, and sunshine. But still, I’m choosing thankfulness. My eldest daughter just read today’s blog and told me that I should include the lyrics to one of our favourite songs on this post. And you know what? I think she’s spot-on! So, today I leave you with the words of Switchfoot:
The shadow proves the sunshine.
Kristy x
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