Thursday 23 April. Yes, it’s really Thursday. And yes, I’ve almost reached the end of my 30 days of thankfulness! It’s been quite a journey. Today also marks exactly four weeks since our nation entered lockdown… and what a rollercoaster that has been. You’ve travelled it with me (check out my 30 Days of Thankfulness homepage if you’d like a recap) and you’ve no doubt had your own path to navigate. These are unprecendented times, that’s for sure!
The truth is, I’ve been choosing thankfulness through the tears. At a time where uncertainty is rife, and life as we know it has been turned upside down, I’ve struggled. I’ve struggled with my own personal grief for what was meant to be, compared to what is. In so many more ways than I ever anticipated that I would.
As an ambivert (that is, half introvert and half extrovert) I’ve struggled with the fact that I actually need both solitude and people, in equal amounts. While the introverted side of me has been rubbing my hands together in quiet delight, it turns out that the extroverted side of me has also been aching for connection with others. (I know, I know, it’s a total contradiction, right?!)
I’ve struggled with how different it is out there, with how going to the supermarket feels like such a foreign exercise. I’ve struggled with the way that each time an announcement has been made, we’ve had to pick ourselves up and readjust again. I’ve struggled with grief for loved ones, and for what I know they are going through. And in amongst these struggles, I know that there are many others who have been faced with some incredibly tough, jarring situations. My grief doesn’t make my burden any greater than anyone else’s, it’s simply mine.
I’m reminded today of where we were at this time last year. We were living in the middle of major building repairs following a fire. There was a catchphrase that came up time and time again, and it’s been emerging again, in this season. “Grace for the moment.” It’s a reminder that we can trust God to provide the grace for each moment, and we can choose to bestow that grace on ourselves, and on each other. Grace.
There’s grace in the technology that enables a video chat, in the text messages that feel like a “conversation” to and fro between friends. There’s grace in the rhythm of my days that are currently not defined by getting out the door in time. There’s grace in the way my girls are relishing the time to play and making the most of the moments they’ve been given. There’s grace, even, in writing a blog and penning thoughts onto paper, as it were. Perhaps that’s even come about because of the war inside me for both solitude and people.
One of those “grace moments” that came about today involved hubby, our girls, our favourite towering tree (yup, the very same tree that featured on Day 13) and some strops. Who could have known that we had the perfect makings of a swing in the very front of our yard?! I heard giggles and laughter wafting up to the window and raced down the front to join in the fun. I’d hazard a guess that this particular moment may never have eventuated if it weren’t for the current crisis.
That’s grace.
Today, I’m thankful for grace in the moments. My prayer for you is, that whatever you’re going through today, whether you’re smiling through the tears, or there are just tears or just smiles, that you would know grace for the moment.
Kristy x
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