be still

Do you know how to be still? I don’t just mean stopping, stationary, where you are. I mean a stillness that fills your heart, mind and soul as you assume a posture of rest. I mean a stillness that gives you the time to consider each of your five senses, and tune in to what’s around you. A stillness that you choose, that starts from within.

I’ve lived with debilitating chronic pain throughout different seasons of my life. Anyone who has experienced that kind of pain, knows how exhausting, how soul-destroying, it can feel. Even if the pain itself isn’t earth shattering, there’s something about the constancy of it that grinds away at everything. Your patience. Your headspace: literally, your ability to think. Your ability to smile, to find joy. Your interactions with others. Your ability to do simple, menial things, without having to think twice. The exhaustion it brings is real.

Some of you will have read, and resonated with, that description of chronic pain. If that’s you, my heart goes out for you. I really, really, get it. And I wish I could wrap you up in a big hug right now.

I haven’t shared this with you to depress you, or to round up any pity. My intention is exactly the opposite! So much of the way that I approach life, has come about as a result of my own journey through chronic pain. Because of it, I have learned (and believe me, am still learning) how crucial it is to be able to stop, to pause, to be still.

Stillness. The quality or state of being still. Quietness. Silence. Calmness. Inactivity. These dictionary definitions, combined, help to create a bit of a picture of what stillness is. And yet, they also reveal the sense of unrest that can come, in this day and age, as we consider something like being still. Words like ‘inactivity’ almost hint that stillness is a negative concept. We’re wired to be active, to be busy, to achieve things.

And yet, what if being still is an accomplishment all of its own? Would we then look at it differently?

I’d like to suggest that stillness is not so much the absence of activity, but a choice to be more present, even in the midst of activity. Yes, there is definitely a place for taking time and space away from the busyness of everyday life. And if you have the chance to do that, by all means, do!! But I’m talking about facing everyday life in a way that allows for stillness. In a way that doesn’t require escape. In a way that makes escape the bonus.

Your day might revolve around being in a room full of clamouring children, in an office that reverberates with activity, sitting behind traffic at yet another set of lights, or dealing with the bustle and hum of bright lights, products and people as you complete a list of errands. You might be in a season where stillness is easy, where the house is quieter at times, or you might be in a season where stillness sounds like a dream from a far-off planet.

Today I want to speak to your soul and encourage you to find ways to choose to be still. Here in the middle of life as it looks, right now.

At one point, with chronic pain that baffled the professionals, I was sent to a psychologist. To be honest, at the time (we’re talking almost twenty years ago) I had no idea why I was there, or what he could do to help, I just did as I was told. I sat in the waiting room, surprised at how much it felt like someone’s lounge – albeit slightly sparse. I recall my attention being drawn from a potted plant in the corner, to a set of square canvases on the wall, each one with a different image. None connected but together, they made a whole. I imagined the different ways those six canvases could be arranged, in different spots on the wall, and waited to hear my name.

I’m not one to consider stereotypes, but I confess that I smiled when I found myself called into the office of my psychologist. He had a gently German accent, paired with light blonde hair and piercing blue eyes that felt like they could see right through me. I had never created a particular image in my head of what a psychologist might be, but in that moment, I realised that if I had one, he would be it. (Don’t worry, I have friends who have studied, or are studying, psychology, so I know that there is so much more to it than this might imply!)

But I digress. As I sat in his office, answering his questions, filling out sheets and completing tests of varying types, he guided that first session to a close and instructed me to come back for subsequent ones, in which he would focus on breathing and relaxation techniques. I did that – I returned for all six, I think it was, and dutifully practised the techniques he showed me. In all honesty, I don’t recall them exactly. But I’m thankful for the wisdom he imparted to me. And I do wonder, to this day, if I perhaps just absorbed some of his techniques and suggestions into my subsequent daily life, I’m not sure.

But one thing that I do, to this day, that I know is a result of sessions with my psychologist? Well, it has to do with exhaling. When I’m stressed or uptight and know I need to slow down and unwind, or sense the need to be still, I start with an exhaled breath. I don’t breathe in first, I just exhale from my nose. Then I breathe in, just enough to be able to exhale again. As much as I can, for as long as I can (comfortably) and repeat. Until I can feel the tension leave my shoulders, and they loosen just a little.

There’s something about an exhaled breath that helps me to focus on letting go. On releasing the overwhelm, the busyness, the impatience, the pressure… all of that. Just letting go, until I can truly be still.

I share this with you today, because I wanted you to understand some of the “me” behind the stories and suggestions you read here. And I’d like to finish today’s post with reference to one of the key passages of scripture that I’m always drawn to, especially as I consciously make time in my life to be still.

Psalm 46:10 (NIV): “Be still and know that I am God.”

I also love The Passion’s take on it: “Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God.”

What a call to our hearts, to our souls, to be still. To just. Be. Still.

My prayer for you today is that you will find the courage to be still, and recognise the value in it. Not just when you’re in escape mode, or on a holiday, but right here in the middle. Right now. As you are.

Kristy x

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