feel it

These are not ordinary times, and we all know it. Our emotions especially. Even if we’re not experiencing emotions specific to the spread of coronavirus, or the lockdown, or changes they’ve brought on us, our emotional equilibrium has been affected. Which means that we feel everything else – the ‘normal’ stuff – with extra gusto. At least that’s what we’re experiencing here, in our family. And I think it’s part of the course, part of adjusting to a new norm, and part of allowing ourselves and our emotions room to breathe. It’s why we’re being reminded everywhere we turn, to be kind. To ourselves as much as each other.

Lately I’ve taken to reading Psalm 46 every morning, in The Passion translation. I breathe deeply as I do, and remind myself that I can trust the One who is ultimately in control, and find my peace in His strength instead of my own. There’s one verse in particular that keeps making me pause and take an extra moment to absorb it’s truth:

Psalm 46:2 “So we will never fear even if every structure of support were to crumble away.”

Today I choose not to fear even though right now it feels like all of my structures and supports have crumbled away. Even though we still have to think twice before going anywhere and we still can’t connect with others the way we’d dearly love to. Even though hubby (who is back at work as of today) is now working again but with a measure of caution in place that was never needed to the same extent before. As we watch the NZ alert levels roll out, and the numbers as they emerge, we will continue to wait and make wise decisions with the information we have at hand. Nothing is normal, but this is the road to a new normal. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure if I like it at all! But at least in these feelings, I know that I’m not alone.

This morning as I was pondering the emotional impact all of this has had on us – on me – I was reminded of the importance of giving our feelings a voice. Take a moment to consider this: how are you allowing yourself to be in touch with your own emotions as you go about your day and week? Perhaps, for you, you work those emotions out into a project by putting your heart and soul into something you create. Or maybe you write in a journal, or take a walk in the fresh air, or play a piece of music that you let wash over you as you sit, and feel. Perhaps you need to give yourself permission to have a hot shower and a good cry. Or read a Bible passage or a poem that speaks to you, and pause for awhile to let it sink in. Or just find a space in your busy calendar to do literally nothing for a few minutes, and sit with your feelings – even if all you feel is numbness as you do. That’s ok too!

Whatever it is and however it looks for you, we are created to have emotions. Yours are as unique as you are, and it’s ok to feel them. In fact, it’s important to feel them – bottled emotions will eventually come back to us in some way, shape or form. I’m thankful that with hope on our side, we can feel our emotions – no matter how raw – without losing heart. That’s today’s soul grace: to recognise your emotion, and feel it. They are, after all, part of what makes us human.

Another interesting tidbit to note (this time from neuroscientist Caroline Leaf) is that when you feel an emotion (particularly in reaction to something or someone), current research is showing that the piercing intensity of it will subside in 60-90 seconds. That’s not to say that the emotion itself will necessarily subside in a hurry, but rather, that the initial, paralysing hit of it, is likely to ease after that 90 seconds. So if you’re feeling particularly emotional, take a moment to breathe and let yourself feel the swell of that emotion. Then notice it ebb, and let it.

Feel it, then free it. Your emotions don’t need to rule you, but they do need a voice.

Kristy x

Not sure what this is all about? Learn more about Soul Graces here.